


If you love honestly, you'll have to let go...

by GavinsPlstcPrck



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Declarations Of Love, Euthanasia, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Love, M/M, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:22:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GavinsPlstcPrck/pseuds/GavinsPlstcPrck
Summary: The moments Connor is completely passing out are getting more and more frequently. Gavin, the love of his live, is scared and doesn't know what to do.Sometimes things are just inevitable and you have to let go. Even if you don't want to...
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor/Gavin Reed
Kudos: 30





	If you love honestly, you'll have to let go...

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be on the save side: Trigger warning about Major Character Death and Euthanasia...
> 
> I experienced a significant loss myself recently and have not been able to cope with it until yet. It still hurts ... This fiction is just a small try which hopefully helps me getting out of this deep dark hole someday... This is for Tonda... I miss you so much...
> 
> I would recommend to listen to 'Ólafur Arnalds - Take my Leave of you' while reading. You can find it on YouTube. ;)
> 
> I hope you like it anyway.

„Maybe we can drive to the park later. Go for a walk, sit on a bench… However, what do you think?“ Gavins voice sounded calm. It was a sunday and he didn’t have to go to work. Connor sat across of him on the other side of the table. Their relationship worked out for ten years now and they were happy. Connor’s development went so well after he became a deviant. Their relationship was perfect. Sure they had some quarrels, but Gavin learned to live with Connors flaws, like him with Gavins. Furthermore he was confident that Connor was the most human Android he’d ever known.

„Connor?“, he asked him directly, but his partner didn’t react. He still sat at the table, his head resting on his fist, staring into space without even blinking. Gavin lowered his head to look in his eyes and tried to touch his LED, which was flickering in a nervous blue color. As Gavin touched him, it turned yellow and Connor startled like he have had a really deep daydream. „What happened?“, he asked, completely confused while lifting his head. His eyes focussed slowly to reply Gavins look at him.

„Slowly you’re getting me some creeps, dear!“, Gavin answered. Episodes of this kind occured more frequent recently. Sometimes Connor had gotten something like a blackout. Within these moments he neither react, nor was he aware of what had happened. Even Cyberlife didn’t know what was going on with him. They did different diagnostics, tried to exchange some of his biocomponents. But nothing had changed.

„Did I pass out again?“, Connor asked and Gavin nodded. After such moments Connor seemed to be the old one, but for Gavin it felt more and more unsettling.

*****

„I can’t let you go on patrol if he is like this, Gavin!“ Fowler just told Gavin that Connor was dismissed because of his problems. But Gavin didn’t want to accept it. „You can’t fire him! You just can’t!“ But Fowler didn’t change his mind. „I’m sorry. You and Connor are my best men since Hank retired. But I can’t let him go to a crime scene if he’s destroying the evidence and such.“ Fowler wasn’t mad about Gavins contradiction, he was just endlessly sorry.

Finally Gavin agreed and nodded while he tried to swallow a big lump, which was rising slowly in his throat.

„Gavin… Maybe you should think about to…“ - „Don’t you dare saying that!“, Gavin replied with a harsh voice, while raising his hand. „Don’t…“, he whispered and turned around to leave the room.

*****

Connor didn’t take his dismissal well. He seemed hurt and gave Gavin a look which was almost heartbreaking. But Gavin tried to comfort him, told him that they would find something else he could work on. What Gavin didn’t tell him was the fact, that he thought Connor wouldn’t ever be the same again.

His last appointment at Cyberlife didn’t went well either. His maintenance officer just shook his head over the rising chaos which he discovered in Connors program. He had been alone with Gavin as he reported: „We tried to rewrite some commands in his software, but he didn’t save them. There seems to be an issue, we can’t repair. The problem is not in his processor. It’s in his central unit.“ Gavin tried to keep calm. „How long?“, he asked, but the specialist just shook his head again: „I can’t say…“, he answered. „How long?“, Gavin asked again, this time it sounded demanding. „Maybe a few weeks.“

This blow hit him unprepared and he didn’t know how to tell Connor.

*****

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours… The sequences of Connor passing out became longer and longer. Sometimes Gavin left him in the morning to work and Connor just woke up as he came back home.

Sometimes they laid in bed, Gavin cried his eyes out over Connor, holding him tight in his arms while he was unconcious. If Connor was awake, Gavin played the positive. Just as if he was holding on every little straw to keep their relationship… their life… alive!

*****

But that wasn’t all: Within time Connor started to forget things. Sometimes he didn’t remember what they did the day before. Sometimes he was walking in circles, so Gavin had to distract him. Most times he didn't even know what was going on.

Connor never talked about his issues. He just seemed to be thankful about Gavin helping him.

*****

It was one of those nights which became increasingly rare. Connor was awake and fully aware of himself. He’d been laying in Gavins arms for two hours now, just looking in his eyes. Sometimes they kissed passionately.

Then Connor looked at him with a knowing expression. He took his partners hand and his eyes followed them down, where he lead Gavins hand to his Thirium pump regulator. Softly he pressed Gavins hand onto his biocomponent and lifted his eyes again. Gavin returned his gaze, but was almost shocked. He slightly shook his head: „I… I can’t.“, he whispered, but Connor just replied with a slight smile. „You can… You must!“ He spoke so softly to his partner, almost begging. Gavin bit his lower lip, his fingers were trembling.

„I don’t wanna die without any memories of you. Neither without those moments like laying in bed with you, while you’re holding me, kissing me… nor the moments I remember if you called me a Plastic Prick.“ His slight smile hurt Gavin so much, while hearing Connor telling him something like that. This moment was almost unbearable for him. „You’ve been so patient with me.“, Connor said with a soft-toned voice.

Connor gently placed his hand on Gavins cheek, slowly brushing over his skin with his thumb. „Please…“, Connor murmured.

He definitly didn't want to, but then Gavin pulled him close, leaned his forehead on Connors, their nosetips touched… He noticed Connor putting his arms around him. They sealed their lips… it felt like if they wanted to capture this moment forever…

Then Gavins hand pulled out Connors Thirium pump regulator with a firm twist…

For one moment they kept up the kiss, before Connor was looking at him again and laid his hands on Gavins neck. „I love you so much…“, he whispered with a trembling voice. „I love you too!“, Gavin replied and noticed Connors LED turned dark red.

Gavin held Connor in his arms while his breath became erratic. It felt like eternity… Then it suddenly stopped…

It took a moment for Gavin to realize, that Connor was gone. The flashing light in his LED turned off… He gently looked at him, his hair, his closed eyes… his perfect eyelashes and lips… everything he had loved so much about him and still did. Gavins lips started trembling and his whole facade, which he had been holding up for so long, collapsed within less of a moment. He started crying, pulled Connor close again and the pain about his loss overcame him…


End file.
